dbulger

ok so i gave the low carb thing a try and all i have to say is boo to low carb! Yeah it goes great while your doing it but one little mistake and you have gained the weight back. I was doing so good i lost about 3 pounds and then i made what i thought was a low carb dish and i guess it wasnt as low carb as i thought and guess what i gained the 3 pounds back. So if one little mess is going to put me to back where i started then i really dont think the low carb diet is for me. I am not perfect and i enjoy having a sweet every once in a while so i can not go on something that is going to deprive me of all the things i love !! anyways so i guess its back to ww for me! i swear one day i am going to figure out what works for me. Some people can do low carb and they lose alot of weight and they love it . It works for their body!!! some people do low cal or low fat . Everyone has their thing that works for them. I just need to find mine!!!

I finally lost another pound!!! yay it did take me 2 weeks but whatever it takes i guess!!! i changed things up and i am cutting out some carbs. I am not doing a low carb diet but i am trying to not eat as many things that i LOVE like pasta every night like i usually eat or bread with every meal and not as many sweets!! so i guess whatever i am doing worked bc i did lose another pound!!

Ok i will start off by saying before child i loved to dress up and look nice! i always loves buying clothes and taking care of myself. Then i had a child and it was all about her and has been for 4 years now! even when i lost weight i would buy some clothes for me but  i really just pretty much wore the clothes i had from before i had the baby. well like i said i am finding that the stores i used to shop in dont have clothes for my size. And i cant tell you the last time i went out and got some clothes for me. My child is always dressed so cute and i even make alot of her clothes! I spare no expense when it comes to her and her clothes. I do try to go to alot of upscale resale shops and get her kellys kids clothes and stuff like that but the child has so many clothes that she never gets to wear all of them. my mom buys most of my clothes for me because she knows that i wont buy them for myself. They arnt new clothes but she has a friend who wears the same size as me and her mom owns a big company and her dad is a dr so this girl gets whatever she wants and then my mom buys them from her for me. She just got me a new pair of uggs brand new in the box! anyways i love these clothes and they are nice expensive clothes but they arnt what i have picked out and sometimes they are a little big on me but i wear them anyways bc they are cute but wearing big clothes sometimes makes you look big. but since i have gained weight i refuse to buy any clothes bc i always know im gonna lose so much weight. Well thats a great way to look at it i guess but i am so sick and tired of looking like crap at the weight im at now. So i had this big pitty party and told my husband how my shopping trips are always filled with things for my little girl or for the house and never anything for myself. So i went shopping this weekend! i didnt look at prices i just got it and i got the size that i needed not that i wanted to see but the size that fit me. It has been hard for me to wrap my head around the fact that i am no longer a size m or s and i need to stop looking in that size. It was hard making myself buy large and xl but thats what fits me!! i had fun buying myself clothes and maybe since i have all the right tools for looking good i will feel motivated to lose some weight!!!now i am getting a new hair cut some time this week!! cheers to a  new me!!

ok i read a ton of blogs each day and everyone keeps talking about this trader joe brand. It seems like this brand makes everything you could think of but i have never seen it in the stores around my house. So my question is where do you get this stuff? fresh market? i usually just shop at publix and walmart and i know they dont have any trader joe there so i was just wondering where to get it and i was also wondering is it as good as everyone says? is it worth the money?

well i didnt lose a pound this week but i also didnt gain either so i guess i can look at it that way. Like i said i was busy with company, my party and then yesterday we took my little girl to chuck e cheese and lord knows i didnt do well there either.

But i did have a wake up call to get my butt in gear. we went to the mall and there is this wall that is nothing but a huge mirror and as i was walking i saw a woman and i didnt even know who she was. It was me. I had to do a double take just to make sure it was me. Another thing is i went in the weat seal a place i used to shop at all the time well i went in yesterday and nothing would fit me. I used to love to go buy clothes but now i find myself not even wanting to go in those stores and going to bath and body works instead. Its like i avoid all clothes stores just so i wont have to be hurt when i find out the clothes no longer fit me. Forever 21 used to be one of my favvvv places and now i wont even look that way. So this is motivation to get my crap together and get this big butt off!!

yesterday i was sooo busy i had family in town , a party to host and a house that wouldnt stay clean! so i was busy busy busy and i didnt even get to go on my walk. I didnt eat great either! so i woke up today and decided i am back on track! i didnt get to do my walk in the morning like i really like to do but tonight when it cools back off i am going for my walk!!! I guess monday i will see how good/bad i did this week!

I am loving this double stroller!! i have no more excuses to not get my fat butt out the door and walk!! haha i was reading a comment about my dog being a big dog in the other seat and the funny thing is my dog is a mini pomeranian!!! i also strap he in like she is a kid because she is a little crazy from time to time!! I will have to take a pic when i go on my next walk here in a few minutes.

Yesterday i got the stroller out and walked a mile around the neighborhood then i went down to the walking trail that we have around our neighborhood pond. I think its a mile too and it has those little pebble rocks that make it easy to walk on. I love to walk around the pond bc its so pretty and my little girl loves to feed the ducks and we go down there from time to time to have lunch at the little tables down there. I just havnt been all summer bc i saw a snake in the water and it freaked me out!! but anyways yesterday i sucked it up and walked around the pond (thinking to myself i cant believe i gave up this beautiful view just bc a dang snake) and then my little girl wanted to stop by the park before we went home!

My neighborhood has so many great things to help you get outside and get moving. We have a huge pond with a walking trail and you can also put a little boat in the water. We have a huge pool and a full out park for kids. So dont ask me why i dont take advantage of this every day????

Anyways i went to my “girls night” and watcher the biggest loser just like i do every tuesday night. This one woman touched me so much. Her leg is hurt and she couldnt do the things the other people could but yet she didnt let that get her down. She lost in the double digits!!! ok if this woman can do it with a hurt leg than i can do it with both of my legs!!!

It didnt sink in when i wrote my blog yesterday that i am no longer 200 lbs anymore!! i think i have been at 200 + for about 3 weeks now but NOT ANYMORE!!!!

anyways my little girl is ready to go for our walk and so am i !! i have tons to do after my walk! my mom is coming in town today and my house is a mess and im having a cooking party at my house tomorrow so i have a ton of cleaning to do!!

i had no time to get on here yesterday and no time to weigh. But i got up today and i got on the scale and i will have to say i am happy!! started last monday at 205.5 and today i am 199 before going to the bathroom and 189.5 after ahahaha!!!!

I had a very busy weekend! My whole neighborhood had a yard sale! I love to yard sale but im not a huge fan of having them. I will say its great that my neighborhood does the yard sale because people just park at the front and go from house to house and i did have fun with all my neighbors but i have fun with them every night so that was expected. I did make a little over 300 dollars!! I have spent all the money already on burlap for curtains and some other stuff for the house!  But when we were putting all the stuff out on thursday night my husband said no one will want to buy this crap. hahahah well since he said that and since he didnt help me at all, he didnt get any of the money!!!!

I had some slip ups this weekend so to see such a big weight loss i am so proud of myself! Oh yeah and my neighbor had a double jogging stroller at her yard sale and she paid like 280 dollars for it and i got it for 30!! so now i can take my little girl and the dog walking at the same time!!! I used it for the first time yesterday and i not only got a work out on my legs but trying to turn that big thing will work your arms out too!!

It feels so good here in Alabama! right now its like 56 outside but its going to warm up to the high 80’s. I love waking up to a cold house and being under the wam blanket! I also love drinking some coffee!!! But for the last couple of years i have got seasonal depression. Not a bad case of it but its still there. I try to fight it and i hate it because for the most part i am always happy so when im not i hate it!!! So im praying that walking every day will help me kick this crap!!

I was hungry yesterday. I ate down everything i ate and i will have to say the page was pretty full. It was healthy food but still alot of it. It seem like every time i turned around i was wanting something else to eat. This is one of the bad things about being home all day . Anyways i decided i wasnt going to let it get me down and so i went to the gym with my friend. I didnt get to exercise too long but a little is better than nothing. My legs were still killing me from that dvd that i did on tuesday. So i ate dinner at church and i was feeling full. I went to the store and got yogurt and 100 cal snacks and salad stuff. Came home and i had the house to myself!!! i was soo excited!!! Then my husband and little girl came home with food from my mother in laws house. LET THE BINGE BEGIN…..why do i do this to myself??? its not fun and its not getting me to the place i want to be. I have some sort of binge atleast once every day. Im so sick of it.

On a diff note i talked to my mom last night while i was at the store getting my yogurt and stuff (she lives 3 hours away) and i was telling her how i was really going to try and lose the weight this time because i just feel so depressed. She has already told one of my friends that she was worried about me letting my weight get me depresses . My mom is about one size smaller than me but her weight goes up and down just like mine. She told me “Devin do you remember when you were younger and you were ashamed of how big i was?” i told her yes and how sorry i was and how that was just me being stupid. then she says “well devin i was about 30 pounds less than what you are now. It hurt me so bad that you were ashamed of me and if you dont do something about it now then your child will be ashamed of you too.” This really hit home with me. My mom was not trying to be mean she was just trying to give me the facts. I thought about it and no i dont want my child to ever be ashamed of me. I will change and i will make her proud of me. I told my mom that i feel like i needed to be fat for a reason. When i was growing up i was a snob (hint i was ashamed of my mom for being bigger) and i thought 180 lbs was HUGGEEEE. Never did i ever think i would be in a place in my life where i would LOVE to be 180 lbs. Now that i am bigger i just look at people totally diff. I get mad when someone says”look at that fat guy” and the guy is like 200 lbs. So its crazy to say but maybe something good has come out of me gaining all this weight.

Now that i have that off of my chest I am going to exercise and pray for no binge eating today!!!!

Well yesterday was pretty good! i am so proud of myself for woking out to my new Golds Gym beach body dvd (that i got for 3 bucks) and then i went to my friends house for a “girls night”where we watch biggest loser. I will have to say those people just fire me up! i swear i cant stay still while watching that show! i feel like i could exercise for hours when i watch that show . The truth is i feel like im gonna die after 10 minutes!!!

I got home pretty late and for some reason i could not sleep! I love to sleep so i have no idea why i cant sleep ?? anyways when i got up this morning OMG I COULDNT WALK!!! that 12 minutes of that dvd kicked my butt!!! but i feel great!!

i woke up hungry go figure! and as i told you i am in a breakfast rut so i decided to do a smoothie and it was soo good!! i have been having a big glass of water when i first wake up and today i didnt do that and i swear my body was telling me DRINK SOME DANG WATER!!! 

Its so pretty outside today and my little girl wanted to ride her barbie car so we went for a little walk. I love to walk with her but the only bad thing is you cant go to fast but it still felt great getting those sore muscles going.

As far as my exercise today im not sure what i will do yet. I had this great (or maybe not so great) idea  that i listed all of the exercise dvds that i have and put them in a bowl and each day and i get one out each day!!! this way i wont get tired of doing the same thing every day!!!